Six of the Books I Wrote About in The Great Belonging: How Loneliness Leads Us to Each Other

January 04, 2021 by Charlotte Donlon

Sometimes we can feel very alone in our vocations, faith, and the full spectrum of emotions we experience during various seasons of life. Books and reading help soften the ache of our isolation and broaden our understanding of the things of our hearts, minds, souls, and bodies.

I'm so thankful for all of the books and writers and artists who have mentored me and taught me through their words and work. It was a delight to include some of their writing in The Great Belonging.

Writers of Faith Who Don't Write Explicitly ABOUT FAITH

January 03, 2021 by Charlotte Donlon

Here’s a question I posted on Twitter yesterday: Who are writers of faith (any faith) who don’t write BOOKS ABOUT FAITH? I added this: Pretend I know nothing. Obscure ones, the big ones, everyone in between. I included “(any faith)” because I’m also interested in how people of other faiths do this. I’d also like to explore how the faith of writers who aren’t Christians informs their writing.

Several people responded with all kinds of names of writers who fit these parameters. I’ve compiled that list of almost 100 writers here and will try to add to it as I come across other names via Twitter or through my reading.

After Lucy Ellmann (Number 1)

December 28, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

The fact that I felt like I needed a nap when I got to page 32, the fact that my Coke Zero is almost gone, Cherry Coke, Diet Coke, Coke float, Hope Floats, the fact that people say Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine…

After Lucy Ellmann (Number 2)

December 28, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

The fact that I was only able to read 10 pages just now, the fact that I love this book so much but it makes me so tired, or did something else make me tired and I only noticed it while I was reading this book, the fact that I finished the final chapter of my book this afternoon, swoon, spoon, peanut butter spoon, the fact that I never call a spoon full of peanut butter a peanut butter spoon…

After Lucy Ellmann (Number 3)

December 28, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

the fact that if you rushed and tried to move too quickly and tried to skip a few lines here or there you would miss out on some of the story, some of the storylines, smile lines, botox, robots, the fact that people are creating robots and putting them in nursing homes because there is a loneliness epidemic and older people are some of the loneliest…

Our Darkest Moments: Rebecca Henderson On Suicide, Faith, and Hope

December 01, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

My friend Rebecca Henderson preached a sermon on suicide several weeks ago. Because so many people struggle with thoughts of suicide—particularly during seasons of increased suffering—I’m sharing her sermon and trying to spread the word about this complex issue. Please pass this along to others who might appreciate reading it and gaining greater understanding. I’m so thankful for Rebecca and others who preach about hard things.

Grief, Tragedy, and How Anger + Sorrow = Anguish

September 20, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

Did you know anger + sorrow = anguish? I hope this video (originally recorded on May 11) that explores loss, grief, anguish, and hope provides some comfort in whatever suffering you have experienced or are currently experiencing.⁣

On Longing for More Prayer and Stillness and Silence

August 30, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

When our world turns upside down and spins so fast that we can’t give our attention to the present moment, it’s time to pause. When we notice we’re grasping and living as functional atheists thinking everything is up to us—our vocations, our creative endeavors, our ministries, our movement toward health and wholeness—it’s time to pause.

My Grief Privilege and Mental Health Privilege

August 19, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

Grief Privilege. This is something I’ve been thinking about lately. And Mental Health Privilege. That too. ⁣⁣

A More Ordinary Grief

August 12, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon in Notes & Musings

What does it look like when the initial, intense, consuming grief recedes a bit and the more normal, ordinary grief finds its home inside of us?⁣
⁣
This is what it’s like for me. This is what it’s like for my grief to become more of the sort of grief that will be with me for a very long time. This is what yesterday was like.⁣
⁣
I was on our living room sofa less, but still very much on our living room sofa.
⁣
I had another FaceTime appointment with my therapist who’s also my psychiatrist because she’s brilliant. We talked about how the 2020 narrative does not need to have a storyline with me in an inpatient psychiatric facility.⁣
⁣
I washed my hair. ⁣
⁣
I prayed.⁣
⁣
I read a fantastic short story and even underlined some literary elements that stood out to me. ⁣
⁣
I wrote 170 words of an essay. (It’s a start!) ⁣
⁣
I took a walk.⁣
⁣
I listened to old voice messages from my dad that are still on my phone, thank God.⁣
⁣
I prayed again.⁣
⁣
I drank too much coffee.⁣
⁣
I daydreamed a bit about some things I want to write. I emailed myself some notes about some things I want to write

I thought about a few of the ways I’m still connected to my dad.

I thought about a few of the ways I’m connected to other people in my grief and loss and pain.

I thought about a few of the ways I’m connected to God in my suffering.⁣
⁣
I attended part of a Zoom literary event and got to listen to three of my favorite writers talk about writing and the pandemic.⁣
⁣
I talked to my husband about my dad and the ways we still talk to him.⁣
⁣
I cried. But not as much. Not as often. ⁣
⁣
I texted with my mom. I checked on her and we talked about my dad and his death and his life and the plans for their pets.⁣
⁣
I made some popcorn the old fashioned way at 10:30 at night because I was hungry after not being hungry for so many days and I was craving popcorn and I figured why not.

I slept.

Charlotte Donlon is a writer, a spiritual director for writers, and the founder and host of the Our Faith in Writing podcast and website. Charlotte’s writing and work are rooted in noticing how art helps us belong to ourselves, others, God, and the world. Her writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Curator, The Christian Century, Christianity Today, Catapult, The Millions, Mockingbird, and elsewhere. Her first book is The Great Belonging: How Loneliness Leads Us to Each Other. You can subscribe to her newsletter and connect with her onTwitter and Instagram.

New Study Says We're More Anxious and Loneliner

April 30, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

A new study commissioned by ValuePenguin and conducted by Qualtrics found that 47% of Americans are experiencing more loneliness and 1 in 6 feel more anxious. The results are based on an online survey of 1,184 Americans conducted between April 14-April 16, 2020.

Why Our Hairstylists Help Us Feel Less Lonely

April 22, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon in Notes & Musings

I wrote this piece a year ago for The New York Times, but the editor killed it several months later. (One reason I think she killed it is she wanted it to be more about mental illness and I wanted it to be more about loneliness. Loneliness can be a symptom of mental illness, but it's not a form of mental illness.) I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the importance of loose-tie relationships like those we have with our hairstylists. The COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine have definitely affected our sense of loneliness and belonging. I imagine many of us miss our hairstylists, our bartenders, and our servers at our favorite restaurants, and the ways they help us feel like we belong.

Finding Room to Breathe and Space to Be

March 04, 2020 by Charlotte Donlon

Where do you go to find room to breathe and space to be?
⁣
I love sitting alone in my minivan. Before my oldest child started driving, I waited forever in the lines at my kids’ schools to avoid getting stuck in traffic on the backend after school let out. I would read and write and pray and catch up on social media. ⁣

9 Days of Creativity Boosters

October 18, 2019 by Charlotte Donlon

Here are 9 Creativity Boosters from my larger list of 99 Creativity Boosters. Sign up for my email newsletter that includes content on writing, reading, and creativity to receive all 99 Creativity Boosters!

Writing and Faith: Liz Charlotte Grant

August 17, 2019 by Charlotte Donlon

Grant says her faith and writing are connected primarily through her understanding of the beauty of God being an unnecessary abundance. She appreciates how the artist Makoto Fujimura talks about the passage of the woman washing Jesus’s feet with her hair and how she will be remembered by that act.

When Depression Shows Up. Again.

June 24, 2019 by Charlotte Donlon in Notes & Musings

You know what you need to do.

Writing and Faith: Judy Douglass

April 17, 2019 by Charlotte Donlon

Douglass said she doesn’t have a specific writing schedule because writing is not her primary vocation. “It is a major way that I do the things I think God sends me to do, which is communicating and encouraging people in their walks with God. If you were to ask me to pick the word that describes me, it's ‘encourage,’ and writing and speaking are the two most visible ways I do that, but I also do a lot of one-on-one conversations.

Writing and Faith: Melissa Reeser Poulin

April 17, 2019 by Charlotte Donlon

Poulin’s writing journey feels very connected to her faith journey. She started writing poems when she was a child. She says, “I was eight or nine years old and would sit outside on the front porch with my little spiral notebook and write. That was how I connected with God. I wrote poems and stories all the time. Writing helped me feel like I was a part of something bigger than myself.” She appreciates that her parents took her seriously as a writer. They gave her a huge book of Emily Dickinson poems when she was 13 years old that she says she “lugged around very importantly.”

Writing and Faith: Derek Vreeland

April 17, 2019 by Charlotte Donlon

Vreeland’s writing journey and faith journey overlap a great deal. During his junior year of high school, his track coach and English teacher encouraged him to write. He told Vreeland, “You have a voice. You have something to say. You should write from a Christian perspective.” He ended up heeding that advice and took an advanced humanities course in high school where he began his writing journey.

Writing and Faith: Gina Dalfonzo

April 17, 2019 by Charlotte Donlon

In her first book, One by One, which came out in 2017, Dalfonzo wrote about single people in the church. The topic was very important to her, and she worked on it for several years. She says, “I wanted to get that experience out there and tell other Christians about it and help other Christians navigate being single in the church. I also wanted to help the church as a whole know we’re out there, these are the kinds of things we’re going through, and we need you to listen and try to understand, and work with us.”