On Making Room for Grief to Interrupt
I ordered a small cup of brewed coffee with a lot of cream. Then I sat down and read about a stranger’s grief over her father’s death that holds many similarities to my grief over my father’s death.
Read MoreA Memory from September 2020 and My Continued Hope
Many things have changed over the past year, but this hope and prayer continue.
Read MoreVideo Series: Behind the Scenes with The Great Belonging: How Loneliness Leads Us to Each Other (Chapter Fourteen)
Charlotte Donlon goes behind the scenes and provides additional information about Chapter Fourteen of her first book, The Great Belonging: How Loneliness Leads Us to Each Other.
Read MoreWhy Art Can Help Us Heal from Our Pandemic Loneliness
Most people struggle with different forms of loneliness under typical circumstances. When Covid-19 caused quarantines and closings and strange new ways of life, many people experienced even greater degrees of isolation. Before the pandemic, I knew art helped me feel less alone. During the pandemic, various forms of art were balms to my lonely soul in ways I had never noticed. And as I move out of pandemic time into whatever we'll call what happens next, I know art will help me feel more connected to myself, others, and the world.
Read MoreWhen You Notice Beautiful People, Places, and Things
When I have a day like today, a month like this month, I’m blown away by the beautiful people, places, and things in this city that invite me into deeper belongings with myself, others, God, and the world.
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A More Ordinary Grief
What does it look like when the initial, intense, consuming grief recedes a bit and the more normal, ordinary grief finds its home inside of us?
This is what it’s like for me. This is what it’s like for my grief to become more of the sort of grief that will be with me for a very long time. This is what yesterday was like.
I was on our living room sofa less, but still very much on our living room sofa.
I had another FaceTime appointment with my therapist who’s also my psychiatrist because she’s brilliant. We talked about how the 2020 narrative does not need to have a storyline with me in an inpatient psychiatric facility.
I washed my hair.
I prayed.
I read a fantastic short story and even underlined some literary elements that stood out to me.
I wrote 170 words of an essay. (It’s a start!)
I took a walk.
I listened to old voice messages from my dad that are still on my phone, thank God.
I prayed again.
I drank too much coffee.
I daydreamed a bit about some things I want to write. I emailed myself some notes about some things I want to write
I thought about a few of the ways I’m still connected to my dad.
I thought about a few of the ways I’m connected to other people in my grief and loss and pain.
I thought about a few of the ways I’m connected to God in my suffering.
I attended part of a Zoom literary event and got to listen to three of my favorite writers talk about writing and the pandemic.
I talked to my husband about my dad and the ways we still talk to him.
I cried. But not as much. Not as often.
I texted with my mom. I checked on her and we talked about my dad and his death and his life and the plans for their pets.
I made some popcorn the old fashioned way at 10:30 at night because I was hungry after not being hungry for so many days and I was craving popcorn and I figured why not.
I slept.
Charlotte Donlon is a writer, a spiritual director for writers, and the founder and host of the Our Faith in Writing podcast and website. Charlotte’s writing and work are rooted in noticing how art helps us belong to ourselves, others, God, and the world. Her writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Curator, The Christian Century, Christianity Today, Catapult, The Millions, Mockingbird, and elsewhere. Her first book is The Great Belonging: How Loneliness Leads Us to Each Other. You can subscribe to her newsletter and connect with her onTwitter and Instagram.
Why Our Hairstylists Help Us Feel Less Lonely
I wrote this piece a year ago for The New York Times, but the editor killed it several months later. (One reason I think she killed it is she wanted it to be more about mental illness and I wanted it to be more about loneliness. Loneliness can be a symptom of mental illness, but it's not a form of mental illness.) I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the importance of loose-tie relationships like those we have with our hairstylists. The COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine have definitely affected our sense of loneliness and belonging. I imagine many of us miss our hairstylists, our bartenders, and our servers at our favorite restaurants, and the ways they help us feel like we belong.
Read MoreWhen Depression Shows Up. Again.
You know what you need to do.
Read MoreThis Thing I Read: What If You Can't Afford "A Room of One's Own"?
I read this essay while eating gluten free herb and garlic crackers with Trader Joes’ spinach and kale Greek yogurt dip except the dip tasted too healthy and I thought it needed a bit of fat, so I added a tablespoon or so of mayonnaise to it.
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