Spiritual Memoir Reading List
By Catherine Ricketts
catherinedanaricketts.com | Instagram: @bycatherinericketts
Author of The Mother Artist: Portraits of Ambition, Limitation, and Creativity

“Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.” – Augustine, Confessions

“Let me examine myself again, more closely.” – Augustine, Confessions

Augustine’s Confessions is a pioneer in the form of spiritual memoir. Written between 397 and 400 by the Bishop of Hippo, it details the coming of age story and philosophical journey that led Augustine to convert to Christianity in his thirties. Focusing on themes like desire, ambition, independence, and faith, Augustine’s memoir echoes ancient wisdom traditions and philosophies from both the east and the west, and calls to us still today as contemporary readers wrestle with these themes in their own lives. The following readings are taken from a course I teach at Villanova University called the Augustine & Culture Seminar. This course is required for all Villanova first years in order to introduce them to Augustinian thought and to draw them into the tradition of meaningful self-reflection demonstrated by the saint. The readings focus on the genre of spiritual memoir, pairing the Confessions with excerpts from contemporary spiritual memoir. Below, I have included a link to each reading, a brief description to frame the reading, questions for reflection, and writing prompts. I hope this reading list will encourage self-reflection and serve as a craft study in the genre of spiritual memoir.

Fra Angelico, *The Conversion of St. Augustine*

Biography of Augustine

Choose any edition of Augustine’s Confessions (I recommend Maria Boulding’s translation, linked above and throughout this guide). Read the introduction to give yourself some background about the author.

Question for reflection:

In reading his biography, what similarities or differences do you see with your own life?

Writing Prompt:

Write the first paragraph of your spiritual memoir. Don’t overthink it; welcome your first thoughts.

The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr, excerpts

The process of writing can open our eyes to see ourselves, God, our neighbor, and our world more clearly. In many religious traditions, to see clearly is the definition of a life well-lived. Catholics aim for the gradual unveiling of true sight, by which, in eternity, one “sees the divine essence with an intuitive vision, and even face to face, without the mediation of any creature.” (Benedict XII on the Beatific Vision) Seeing things clearly now is a sacred endeavor, and the art of memoir is one way in which we can seek clarified vision. In her book The Art of Memoir, Mary Karr gives a primer on this form of writing. In the excerpts linked above, Karr addresses the power and pitfalls of memory when we’re telling our stories, how to think about others’ stories as they intertwine with our own, and how to shed false selves in order to know ourselves more truly.

Questions for reflection:

Look at the list on page 120, where Karr makes suggestions for how to write about other “characters” in our personal stories. Which of her suggestions seems like an especially good idea to you? Which would be hardest for you?

Writing prompts:

Memory exercise: Walk through your first home, beginning at the front door. Move through each room to make your way to your childhood bedroom. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, touch? Later, corroborate your memories. Call your mother. Email your sister. Was the front door green or navy? Were Dad’s magazines always stacked on the landing? Did he yell that way just once, or did it happen often? And did he soften as he aged? Do they remember it the way you do?

Childhood: Confessions Book 1 & Motherhood: A Confession by Natalie Carnes, excerpts

Books 1-9 of the Confessions focus on Augustine’s biography, while Books 10-13 offer a metaphysical treatise. We will read Books 1-9 only, pairing each book with an excerpt from contemporary memoir to see the ways that Augustine’s questions reverberate today. Each pairing is guided by a theme. Today’s theme is childhood.

Natalie Carnes’s Motherhood: A Confession is an example of a contemporary memoir that’s deeply influenced by Augustine’s Confessions. As the author explains in the introduction, she both loves and critiques Augustine’s famous book. Alongside Augustine’s memoir, long considered a window into the human soul, Carnes writes from the perspective of a woman and mother, offering “another narrative of what it means to be human.”

Questions for reflection:

In Book 1, Augustine emphasizes his childhood sins. Note places in the text where he talks about sin. Do you agree or disagree with his beliefs about sin?
How do Carnes’s beliefs about sin and desire compare with Augustine’s?
How does thinking with Carnes about birth offer a new understanding of what it means to be human?

Writing prompt:

What is your earliest memory?

Youth: Confessions Book 2 & “Letter from a Region in my Mind” by James Baldwin

The second book of the Confessions chronicles Augustine’s adolescence. In it, he confesses to his teenage desires, the love of misbehaving just for the fun of it, and succumbing to peer pressure. He questions his motives for the behavior that drew him away from God. For our contemporary text, we’re reading James Baldwin’s essay “Letter From a Region in My Mind,” originally published in The New Yorker in 1962. Baldwin was a Harlem-born American novelist, playwright, poet, and essayist who had a prophetic voice in the culture of his day. Please read pages 1-10 of this essay—the section where Baldwin remembers the faith of his adolescence. If you want to keep reading, you’ll be enriched by profound commentary on race and religion in America.

Question for reflection:

What similarities and differences do you notice between Augustine’s story and Baldwin’s story?
How do you reconcile the desires that tug you (whether for sex, acclaim, friendship, money, or whatever it may be for you) with your religious or philosophical beliefs?

Writing prompt:

Have you had a “pear tree” moment? What were your motives?

Independence: Confessions Book 3 & We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib, excerpt

In book 3 of the Confessions, Augustine leaves home to study in Carthage, and we observe the lifestyle and ideas that he tries out as he tastes independence for the first time. In this chapter, Augustine introduces us to the sect of the Manichees, a religious community where he spent some time. As you read, you’ll notice that a long philosophical meditation about the flaws of Manichaeism is bookended by more intimate tellings of his personal story. For our contemporary text, we’ll read an excerpt from We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir. Published in 2020, this book tells the story of Samra Habib, who immigrated from Lahore, Pakistan to Toronto, Canada as a refugee when she was ten years old. At sixteen, she entered an arranged marriage to her cousin Nasir. Our excerpt, Chapter 6, picks up just after Habib graduates from high school and makes the difficult decision to flee her arranged marriage and with it, her own family, to move in with a new boyfriend named Peter. This chapter explores her relationship with her family after she seeks independence from many aspects of their Pakistani culture and Muslim religion.

Question for reflection:

What similarities or differences do you notice between Augustine’s story and Habib’s?

Writing prompt:

How would you describe the religious or philosophical tradition of your upbringing? In what ways do you still feel connected to that aspect of your upbringing? In what ways have you diverged?

Grief: Confessions Book 4 & The Crying Book by Heather Christle, excerpt

In the Confessions book 4, Augustine recalls his life ages 19-28. He is a teacher of rhetoric, has a steady relationship, and continues his philosophical search within the Manichean community while dabbling in astrology. Amidst all of this, his close friend dies, and as he recalls his profound grief, he meditates on the fleeting nature of human attachments and finds consolation in the never-ending love of God. As you read, focus especially on the sections “Death of a friend at Thagaste,” “Consolation in other friends at Carthage,” and “Transience of created things.” For our contemporary text, we’ll read an excerpt from The Crying Book by Heather Christle—a study of tears that takes the form of experimental nonfiction. It is written in fragments that may seem disjointed, but that cohere and accrue into a profound narrative as the book progresses.

Question for reflection:

While some religious traditions emphasize detachment from the world, even detachment from loved ones, Augustine expresses profound love for his friend and is overcome by grief when his friend dies. What does Augustine seem to believe about the proper relationship between love of the world and love of God?
Tears can be hard to write about because they can easily become sentimental. How does Christle avoid sentimentality (if at all)?

Writing prompt:

List the last three times you can remember crying. For each, write about how it felt in your body. Was it loud or quiet? Long or short? Were there tears? Where were you?

Ambition: Confessions Book 5 & watch Greta Gerwig’s Little Women (film)

In book 5 of the Confessions, Augustine chronicles the professional and intellectual journey of his late twenties. He continues to test the Manichean worldview, and takes strides to pursue his professional goal to become a teacher of rhetoric and a celebrated public speaker. We pair this reading with the viewing of Little Women, Greta Gerwig’s 2019 adaptation of the Louisa May Alcott novel. Like the Confessions, this film explores questions about ambition.

Question for reflection:

What were Augustine’s ambitions when he was in his late twenties? How did he go about pursuing those ambitions?
What does the mature Augustine seem to think about his youthful ambition?
What are the ambitions of each of the March girls (Meg, Jo, Amy, Beth)?
What tensions exist in Jo’s pursuit of her ambition?

Writing prompt:

Watch this interview with Greta Gerwig interview, until 1 minute and 44 seconds. In the movie of your life, what is the event that the whole movie leads up to? “Girl gets x.” “Boy gets x.” Write about this for 10 minutes.

Belonging: Confessions Book 6 & “Upon This Rock” by John Jeremiah Sullivan and/or “Jesus Raves” by Jordan Kisner

In book 6 of the Confessions, Augustine is 30 years old, teaching in Milan, and exploring different communities of belonging. John Jeremiah Sullivan’s essay “Upon This Rock” also explores the theme of belonging. As Sullivan explains in the essay, he receives an assignment from the editor at the magazine GQ to write about a Christian music festival, and what ensues is a humorous and heartfelt exploration of faith and belonging. Meanwhile Jordan Kisner undertakes an immersive study of a church in Montauk.

Question for reflection:

Describe the experience of “in-between” in which Augustine finds himself at age 30.
What are some of the communities he discusses in this chapter? In what ways does he belong to each community? In what ways is he outside of each community?
Is Sullivan/Kisner an insider or outsider in relation to the community he/she writes about?

Writing prompt:

Spiritual writing is often set in the context of religious communities, which are tightly knit subcultures with obvious boundaries defined by shared belief, shared language, and shared experience. Even the most admirable religious communities tend to have an us and them ethos. Some of our deepest spiritual preoccupations have to do with whether or not we belong: Do I believe the right things, and what might the implications be in my community if it is not? Do I feel included socially? Have I outgrown the faith community that raised me? Can I believe? With these considerations in mind, write for ten minutes on these questions: What communities are you a part of? In what ways do you feel that you belong in those communities? In what ways do you feel outside?
In book 6, section 13, Augustine tells the story about when his friend Alypius goes to the gladiator shows. He writes, “No longer was he the man who had joined the crowd; he was now one of the crowd he had joined, and a genuine companion of those who had led him there.” Describe a time in your life when you moved from being an outsider to being an insider of a community/crowd.

Reluctance: Confessions Book 7, “Thirst” by Mary Oliver, & “Love (III)” by George Herbert (the poem from which our next essay draws its title)

Book 7 of the Confessions is a summary of Augustine’s intellectual and mystical movements closer and closer to his conversion to Christianity. He can intellectually assent to Christianity; he even has some moments of divine encounter that move belief from his head to his heart. But “carnal habit” keeps him from fully converting, and he continues to linger at the border of belief. These poems by Oliver and Herbert reflect on themes of reluctance and conversion.

Question for reflection:

What echoes from Augustine do you hear in Oliver and Herbert?

Writing prompt:

Oliver writes, “Love for the earth / and love for you are having such a long / conversation in my heart.” Fill in the blank : “Love for _______ / and love for you are having such a long / conversation in my heart;” then write the conversation.

Conversions: Confessions Book 8 & “Love Bade Me Welcome” by Christian Wiman

In book 8 of the Confessions, Augustine recalls his divided will and the moment in which he finally turns wholeheartedly to God. His conversion is one of the most famous turns in all of western literature, has been celebrated in visual art, and invites us to reflect on our own moments of conversion, both big and small. For our contemporary text, we turn to Christian Wiman, poet, translator, editor, and essayist. A former Guggenheim fellow, Wiman served as the editor of the premier American poetry magazine Poetry from 2003 to 2013, and now teaches writing at Yale Divinity School.

Question for reflection:

What similarities do you see between Augustine’s story and Wiman’s story? What differences?
Wiman writes, “I was brought up with the poisonous notion that you had to renounce love of the Earth in order to receive the love of God.” What would Augustine say about this? What do Wiman’s own experiences teach him about love of the Earth and love of God?

Writing prompt:

Have you ever had a conversion moment, religious or otherwise? Think of a moment that epitomizes that conversion, and describe it in detail, focusing especially on how the experience felt in your body.

Parents: Confessions Book 9 & Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner, excerpt

In book 9 of the Confessions, we observe how Augustine’s life changes after his conversion: a change in demeanor, a change in profession, and one of the most significant changes–the loss of his mother Monica. We pair this book with Crying in H Mart, a memoir about parents, grief, and cooking written by Michelle Zauner, the lead singer of the indie rock band Japanese Breakfast. Our excerpt begins just after Zauner’s mother Chongmi, a Korean immigrant to the US, has died from a long fight with pancreatic cancer.

Question for reflection:

How does Augustine honor his mother’s legacy? How does Zauner?

Writing prompt:

Who are your parents, what are their stories, and how have their stories shaped your own?
Whether or not your parents/caregivers are still living, how do you (or could you) honor their legacy in your day to day life?

After book 9, Augustine moves away from personal narrative and into theological meditation. Our study of spiritual memoir ends here, but if you’re interested in reflections on time, memory, eternal life, and creation, read on!